and that something is...MY SENSE OF STYLE!
Here's how the story goes. In my twenties, I think I had pretty good style. I tried to find a picture to prove this, but it seems I only took headshots back then - or I'm wearing a coat. So, you'll just have to trust me that I dressed well.
Then, between 2006 and 2010 I gained about 35 pounds. I'm not proud of it, but it happened. Then I had babies, and my body changed again.
SIDENOTE - I did lose the baby weight with Madeleine, but not the additional 35 pounds. I have about 11 pounds to go from this last pregnancy yet. I have a goal to lose this last bit of baby weight, plus the 35 pounds I gained - but that's another post.
What I'm trying to say, is that I don't know how to dress my current body. I don't know my size. I don't know what stores to shop at. I don't know what looks good on me anymore.
In addition, psychologically, I still expect to see the "skinny" me in the mirror. So, when I'm out shopping and trying things on I automatically think I look fat because I don't see the body I used to have. It's not the clothes though, I am fat. Not morbidly obese by any mean, but overweight, yes. The term pleasantly plump comes to mine, but it's not feeling so pleasant.
Shopping for clothes is no longer fun, but frustrating and emotional.
So, that needs to change. I am going to continue to try and lose weight, but I can't put my wardrobe on hold in the interim. It's pitiful how little clothing I own anymore. (I only take up about two feet of space in our closet) I love fashion way too much to give up on it.
Before I go shopping though, I have to figure out what my style is now. First off, my casual look. Unfortunately, I have very little reason to dress up anymore. I always loved buying cute dress clothes for work, but recently they started allowing us to wear jeans everyday. Even when I was thinner I didn't have much of a casual wardrobe, so I've been lacking in this department for some time now.
Television is one of the best places to look for style inspiration. Right now, I'm really loving the wardrobe of Ellie Torres (played by Christa Miller) on Cougar Town. I think she does casual chic just awesome. She is almost always dressed in jeans or khakis, but her tops are usually silk, have lace accents, or are nice knits (lots of color block and stripes). She also rocks lots of blazers. So, even though it is casual, it comes off as very sophisticated and professional. There's a bit of a masculine quality to her clothes too, but she always softens them up with jewelry, color, and the fabrics.
So, next time I go shopping, I'm going to keep my eye out for "Ellie" tops.
All images above from Possessionista.